Do you Trust or Suspect the World : Think About it Mondays
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How many situations do you encounter per day where the worst runs through your head?
You could be walking down the street and yanked through an open doorway to then be subject to unimaginable terrors. You could post a picture online of you infront of your house only for some wacko to pin point your location and stalk you. You could even be lured away from a group of friends into a premeditated trap… you could have your identity stolen by a hacker… you could have s pill slipped into your drink… you could share your best idea on Facebook only for it to be stolen by someone else.
We live in a world of infinite dangers but how much do these dangers affect how you live in this world? As someone who honestly has never been crossed or burned by a complete stranger I can admit that I might live my life with a naive trust and as a result I tend not to understand people who allow fear of the potential to outweigh the thrill of just living.
I am not oblivious to what could go wrong, like you, when I am alone in the shower I pull back the curtain every few minutes to see if that sound came from my stereo or front door but I am also the kind of person to ride my bike at 3am downtown or to sleep with my patio door open. Sure I lock doors and walk with my keys woven in between my knuckles but if it’s a nice night, to hell with it I’m walking home rather than calling a cab.
“I also do photography Shannon but I don’t post on Facebook or blogs because others will probably steal my work.” Really? The last time I checked the Internet was bursting at the seams with people who like to point and shoot so why would anybody care to steal our work, and if by chance they did take try to pass it off as their own…. wouldn’t you be thankful that more people got to experience your art?
I think I have good instincts or perhaps just great luck but all in all I can say that fear does not govern the way I live my life. I was having this conversation with a friend today, it began with a simple question: are you generally a trusting person who is aware of the risks around you or are you a mistrustful person who avoids risky situations at all costs?
Yesterday I shared my new book idea with you and if you Googled me you could find my phone number online – I would say that I am trusting person who is aware of the risks.
But I am curious about you all, how worried are you about personal safety, identity theft and being burned because you were naive enough to believe in common decency? Just a few questions answer if you have time please:
1) Are you generally a trusting person who is aware of the risks around you or are you a mistrustful person who avoids risky situations at all costs?
2) Have you ever been attacked by a complete stranger? What were the circumstances?
3) Have you ever had someone take information about you online and misuse it?
4) Have you ever had any of your intellectual property stolen?
5) Have you ever been a victim of identity theft?
6) Do you avoid being alone in public at all costs?
7) Do you screen who you add to Facebook or who reads your blog, Twitter, etc.. If so why?
When are you most likely to put your safety net up?
9) What do you think the dangers of being too trustful are?
10) How do you think being too cautious can actually hinder your lifestyle?
I watched the G20 madness yesterday from the safety of my couch and then spoke to a friend late last night after the heat from the burning vehicles had cooled. When she quizzed me on why I wasn’t in the city with my camera pressed to my cheek I told her that I liked my life. I’m not THAT trusting to thrust myself in the heat of a battlefield with a nothing is going to happen to ME attitude…. I guess everyone has their limits
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This is an awesome post. I love topics like this…criminal justice-type related stuff. (If that made sense)!
I never walk around thinking what “could” or “might” happen to me, no matter the time of day or where I am. In my opinion, if you walk around thinking something could happen to you, it might. I take common sense precautions but other than that, I just live my life.
1. I’m a very trusting person. Dispite everything I watch on Tru Tv and some thoughts that run through my head, I trust the people around me a lot. I have no idea why.
2. Never have I been attacked by a stranger, nor have I known anyone to get attacked. I have friends who have known someone to get attacked though. Someone my best friend knows got attacked at gunpoint and robbed at the college they attend.
3. When I was younger I developed a crazy addiction to online chatting. The thrill I got from it was indescribable. One day I was chatting with someone and they asked me what my last name was. Since my last name is very uncommon I was quite..hesitant to tell the person, but I did anyway. I was scared for a few days because I didn’t know if they would come try to steal me or something, but nothing ever happened. This was years and years ago though. Nowadays people put their first and last names up on everything, Facebook, Twitter bio’s..everything, so I guess it’s not that big of a deal anymore.
4. No, I have not had any intellectual property stolen from me.
5. Identity theft has never personally happened to me, but my mom once had her credit card billed with a purchase of $100 Nike’s she didn’t buy.
6. I am the kind of person who loves to be in the company of people, so being alone is not something I like personally at all. I can admit, if I were to be walking alone at night, I might walk a little faster if I was by myself, but other than that it’s not something I’m paranoid about or go out of my way to avoid at all costs.
7. When myspace was popular I used to always say “If someone takes the time out of their day to look at my page and add me, I’ll always add them back.” But as I’ve gotten older, I screen not who adds me really, more so who I personally chose to talk to. I have lots of friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t tell you how many of them I actually know. Same for Twitter. I have no clue how half those people find me or why they choose to add me, but as long as they don’t start talking to me crazy, I don’t much care.
8. My safety net would mostly go up when I was in a crowd of very large people and I was not with anyone I knew, probably like a concert or something.
9. Dangers of being too trustful are endless..especially for women. Rape, robbery, all of those things are possible if you trust someone who you shouldn’t.
10. Being overly cautious can turn into something like those extreme phobia shows…being scared to leave the house, pushing people out of your life who are actually trying to help you…it personally seems like such an unnecessary burden to put upon oneself seeing that there are seemingly so many other things to worry about (the economy, other countries health, oil spill, and all that other depressing stuff that’s in the news).
Wow, that was a mouthful, lol.
1) Are you generally a trusting person who is aware of the risks around you or are you a mistrustful person who avoids risky situations at all costs?
I’m the latter, but I’m working on it. I try to avoid all risky situations, involving friendships/relationships, etc.
2) Have you ever been attacked by a complete stranger? What were the circumstances?
3) Have you ever had someone take information about you online and misuse it?
4) Have you ever had any of your intellectual property stolen?
5) Have you ever been a victim of identity theft?
6) Do you avoid being alone in public at all costs?
7) Do you screen who you add to Facebook or who reads your blog, Twitter, etc.. If so why?
When are you most likely to put your safety net up?
9) What do you think the dangers of being too trustful are?
10) How do you think being too cautious can actually hinder your lifestyle?
1) I’m the latter, but I’m working on it. BUT, I’m right about the decisions I make 85% of the time.
2)I’ve never been attacked by a complete stranger.
3) To my knowledge, no.
4) Nope.
5) Unfortunately, Yes. For three months, someone was making it rain on my expense in the UK. I live in the U.S. I’ve never even been out the country. Someone got a hold of my card number online (I’m guessing) and just spent my money. I check my balance online all the time, but I thought it was a fee from the bank. It wasn’t until the charge caused an over draft that I realized it was a faulty site.
6) No I move freely. My parents don’t like that I move alone a night on my campus. But I carry pepper spray (my dad’s idea). PLUS, I’m a ‘scary black girl’ as I’ve been told.
7)No, my page is blocked and I don’t accept people I don’t know.
8)Safety net? lol I don’t even know what that means haha
9) I think the dangers of being too trusting, lead to potential mistreatment to one’s safety, one’s identity and state of mind. Once that trust is broken it leaves one looking over their shoulder (figuratively and literally) all the time.
10) Being too cautious can lead to missed opportunity. There’s a wall up that no one can get pass and some worthy people/opportunities are left out.
1) I’m the latter, but I’m working on it. BUT, I’m right about the decisions I make 85% of the time.
2)I’ve never been attacked by a complete stranger.
3) To my knowledge, no.
4) Nope.
5) Unfortunately, Yes. For three months, someone was making it rain on my expense in the UK. I live in the U.S. I’ve never even been out the country. Someone got a hold of my card number online (I’m guessing) and just spent my money. I check my balance online all the time, but I thought it was a fee from the bank. It wasn’t until the charge caused an over draft that I realized it was a faulty site.
6) No I move freely. My parents don’t like that I move alone a night on my campus. But I carry pepper spray (my dad’s idea). PLUS, I’m a ‘scary black girl’ as I’ve been told.
7)No, my page is blocked and I don’t accept people I don’t know.
8)Safety net? lol I don’t even know what that means haha
9) I think the dangers of being too trusting, lead to potential mistreatment to one’s safety, one’s identity and state of mind. Once that trust is broken it leaves one looking over their shoulder (figuratively and literally) all the time.
10) Being too cautious can lead to missed opportunity. There’s a wall up that no one can get pass and some worthy people/opportunities are left out.
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1) I am generally a trusting person, but I am not blinded to the fact that nothing can happen to me. I live in Chicago, we’ve had 52 shooting in 3 days…you do the math, but I refuse to sit in the house scared out my mind.
I put my safety net up when I get a bad vibe,when I can sense that something is not right. I mean if something was to happen to you, it can happen any time, any place, any where. But the obvious things you just can’t look past. example: you are walking down a dark alley, you are walking past a gang zone, you leave your credit card at the mall, etc
2) I have never been attacked
3) No I have never had online informtion taken or misused. But I do know someone, who had his identity on myspace taken. Someone created a whole myspace page about him, adding all his friends etc.
4) I have never had property taken from me.
5) Have you ever been a victim of identity theft? I have never been a victim of identity theft. http://www.prepaidlegal.com/hub/iesharcarter
6) Do you avoid being alone in public at all costs? No, I do not avoid being alone in public. I enjoy being out by myself. But I won’t be out at 4am in an unfamiliar area by myself and assume I can’t be a potential victim.
7) I do screen seldomly the people that add me on FB. Not that I am just soo untrust worthy, but bc I refuse to just add every Tom, Dick, and Harry that wants to add me bc they are trying to “holla” or get to know me on a different level then socially.
9) The dangers of being too trustful is that you get fucked in the end.
10) Being too cautious will hinder your lifestyle in many ways. You begin to assume things would happen. You will create a notion that something is all ways going to happen, you will lose the ones close to you, actually shorten your life by worrying so much
“Just a few questions”? lol
1)Im generally trustful, but i’d say it’s more that i trust my own instinct. i trust my own judgement to decide who to trust if that makes any sense. im very observant and read peoople well and know who i should probably disassociate myself with and who to keep around. i have an accurate fakeometer. i spot the bs from a mile away.
2. No. haven’t been attacked by a stranger.
3) No no one took my online info or anything.
4) No intellectual property stolen.
5) Never been a vic of identity theft.
6.) heck no i dont avoid being in public alone. im weird i guess. i’m one of those peeps who genuinely enjoys my own company. I like going to see a late movie by myself. I play basketball at night (from 12am to 3am) sometimes by myself with no lights on the court. i sit in my car and stare at stars through my moon roof and just think while listening to music for hourrrrs sometimes. And its not that im lonely or have no friends, i have tons of em i swear. just that i appreciate silence and solitude every once in a while. people irritate me most of the time. I used to SERIOUSLY believe that i was the only real person in the world and everyone else was just robots. kinda like that movie The Truman Show except everyone was an actor. Anyway one day im gonna dress up real nice and take myself on a date cuz im cool like that. table for one please.
7) No id dont screen who sees me on the internetsss. but i watch what i say sometimes. the world dont need to know my business.
9) the dangers of being too trustful are ya know, the obvious stuff. You might turn out to be the inspiration for a Lifetime movie. “Based on The Carissa Williams story”. there are psychos out there.
10) Being too cautious is boring though. live. don’t just be alive. There’s no point of being alive if ya aint Carpe-ing your Diems. When you die you wont leave behind many memories with the people close to you. To me thats a waste of life.
1) I think I’ve got a pretty good balance. I’m not phobic about my personal safety and I don’t think I let it hold me back from doing what I want to do, but I don’t go looking for trouble or putting myself at obvious risks either. Then again, I’ve had a lot of good experiences with people. I frequently forget things around the city, and go back to find them still there or returned to the lost and found; it reaffirms my faith in humanity.
Not sure exactly how you mean this. As a general rule, I use common sense about what personal information I give out to people (ie. the subjects I bring up with my boss or with strangers are different than what I might divulge to friends), and I listen to my gut when I’m in a situation where I feel at all threatened.
2) Never.
3) Nope.
4) No, and it obviously isn’t a major concern of mine since I post all my poetry online. I don’t mind people using, remixing or reposting my stuff, as long as I get credit for it; I’m a big supporter of copy-left, and I intend to start publishing more things under the creative commons license (not poems, because I actually want to publish some of those and I don’t think people would really be that interested in using them online, but things like photos and videos). If you’re not planning to make money off something you’ve created, why wouldn’t you let people use it?
5) A couple of times, but my credit card company always reimbursed me.
6) I usually love being alone in public, because you get to observe more things and interact with strangers. Obviously, there are certain areas of the city I avoid at night when I’m alone, but for the most part I’m not too frightened.
7) I screen Facebook because there are some incriminating photos of me. I don’t screen anything where I am the person who decides the content. I post my poems under an alias, but you can still easily figure out that I’m the one who wrote them. I did that mostly so I could write poems about my last job without my bosses googling me and finding out; now I don’t really care, but the alias still helps me feel free to write my more personal feelings.
9) Most of the time, people will just take advantage of you in small ways (mostly financially) and you don’t need to lose any sleep over it. Of course, every once in a while people will take advantage of you in a worse way (sexually, physically, etc.) and that’s what we’re all really worried about.
10) You miss out on a lot of opportunities. I read a study once that said people are much more likely to regret the things they didn’t do than the things they did do, because at least when they made a mistake they could say they experienced and learned from it.
1: I’m not an incredibly trusting person, but I take some risks anyway. My mom raised me to be cautious, or at least, she tried to…but I grew up to be someone who would go out at 4-something in the morning with an associate and his male friend I knew of but had never met. I assess risks, and I go with my instincts on things. In situations that really matter, maybe I’ve been lucky, but I believe I’ve been smart/prepared.
2: Never been attacked.
3 – 5: Not to my knowledge…
6: This probably has a lot to do with being an only child. I don’t mind being alone at all! I lived alone for a couple of years when I was on campus. I would walk to places by myself at night. I don’t like to have to wait on other people to be able to do something. That’s unavoidable sometimes, but I’m quick to go off on my own if I need to/feel like it.
7: When FB first started, I accepted everyone–mostly people from the school I was about to attend that fall. Now I do more screening; I’ve gone in and deleted some people, too. At this point, it doesn’t really matter because my FB profile is so vacant. Dust has collected in the places I used to have personal info. Aside from “cleaning up for professional purposes,” I took some things down and made others private because I have received creepy, stalker-esque messages (mostly about my poems)…followed up by some of those people acting creepy in person. For some reason, I don’t look at it as a safety issue as much as…I just don’t want to be bothered like that. My Twitter was once private, but I opened it to @reply people who aren’t following me. Twitter is where I’m the least guarded in what I say. Perhaps, I should make it private again? lol I’m most particular about what I put on my blog because that’s the link I send out for work-related things.
8: Like Iesha said, my net goes up when I get a bad vibe. I try to give people a chance. I always think, “Maybe I’m reading the situation in the wrong way,” but usually I’m not. I wouldn’t show up to a riot, either. But I don’t think that has much to do with my level of trust…lol
9 & 10: If you’re too trusting, you won’t realize when you’re being deceived. If you’re too cautious, you’ll miss out on opportunities to move forward, make friends, have fun…. So, you know, “nothing in excess.”
1. I Trust about 10 people in my life. Every one else, NOPE. I don’t even trust my own dad or aunts and uncles b/c they lie WAY too much. It’s sad, but thats the way it is.
2.Nope.
3.Nope.
4.Nope
5.Nope.
6. i actually like walking around downtown alone, just zone out from the rest of the world. But I used to have a fear of walking around alone about 3 years ago. And then after being a loner (haha) at college for a year, I got over it.
7.I only add people i know, onto my facebook. And i block ppl. on twitter if they look creepy. lol. There’s physco ass ppl. in this world. You gotta be careful.
8. Mine is almost always up
9. My mom is WAY to trustful, and I’ve seen how some of her so called “friends” abuse that trust. I get mad at her some times b/c she’s so kind to every one, and I feel like she shouldn’t be so trusting of EVERYONE.But she still doesn’t listen. Mothers.
10.Being too cautious… any thing in excess is bad.
(btw, thats a gorgeous picture of your sis. Shannon!)
1. Trusting but pragmatic. Keep a Plan B if that trust were to falter.
2. Attacked, no. Had a stranger smear what appeared to be blood on me and my date once. That was off-putting, but our jackets washed off fine.
3 & 4. No.
5. Bank card gets compromised every 6 months like clockwork, but otherwise, no.
6. I probably go to way more events solo than with others. And I walk a lot, at all hours. Never felt unsafe in this city.
7. No. It’s all public, so I approach it is if I were a public figure and act accordingly. Actually that’s not entirely true; my wall has been turned off for a minute now.
8. I don’t know about a safety net, but I’m rarely oblivious to my surroundings.
9. There are dangers in being ignorant of your environment.
10. Absolutely. I think sheltering oneself, or others, is the poison pill of a strong society.
The biggest lesson of the G20 mess is that, more than anything, it is PEOPLE who keep the city safe. As soon as you removed the people and businesses out of the core, you created the eerie environment that invites lawlessness. I’m deeply bothered by the idea of our public spaces becoming “battlefields”. A lot of folks share the blame in that.