Do What YOU Have to, Not What THEY Expect You To : Think About it Mondays
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Have you ever spent days/ weeks doing nothing all because you were semi-depressed about how little you have done of late?
When every day is Sunday, you don’t feel worthy of rest but at the same time you don’t feel like doing anything productive either. If you’ve experienced it you’ll understand what I mean but if you haven’t you will probably respond with something like: I wish I had a problem like that! I’m too busy to sitdown let alone wallow in limbo… and that’s cool and all to but then in that case, this post isn’t for you.
I spent weeks waking up to a car driving by, a lawn mower powering up or the sound of school kids coming home for lunch… Rolling over to four digits on the clock is an icky way to start your day but a tricky habit to break. You get out of bed, do the morning routine and then find yourself sitting right back on your unmade mattress with a hollow now what on your face. I felt anxious a lot during these weeks to, butterflies spinning in aimless circles in the pit of my stomach, kind of anxious. It’s not as if there isn’t things to do, I could easily make a full time job out of managing myself but there is something kind of unfulfilling about endless days of pitching and hustling yourself alone (maybe this is a sign that I am not a true entrepreneur).
I spent a lot of my time during these weeks reflecting: what did I want, where did I fit, who could I work for, what should I be working at? The answers were clear but all of my key goals and plans were huge gambles, meaning I could spend months on them and in the end my efforts could take me no further than where I sat today. That ish is scary as hell!
Everyone in my circle agreed I was on my way but I still wasn’t sure to where exactly I was going or just how much I would have to sacrifice to get there. But of all the uncertainties, one thing was for sure, I couldn’t go on waking up to the sun in the middle of the sky: my life needed routine. Working on my second book, improving the blog and pitching a TGAW web series is my passion and hustle but I picked up two part-time jobs to add to my grind. They are not the jobs that you think a published author whose been on CNN, Fox News and CBC would take on. But they are jobs and they have given me two things that I desperately needed: appreciation for free time and guilt-free spending money.
“How much does your little job pay again?” my dad asked me this with an amused smile.
Not-a-damn-nough and I’m not ashamed of it! I am doing what Shannon needs to be doing, not quite what the world expects but the world isn’t there with me while I stare at my blinking cursor wondering how to fill a page when I feel pretty empty inside. No the world is doing what it needs to so I will gladly accept the moments of awkward “Shannon are you working here?” in exchange for the feeling of self-efficacy.
I actually started my book the other day, like I wrote five pages and this Sunday I will be ready to share my idea with everyone. I also finished my photography website and have seen my bookings pickup instantly (doing one photoshoot a week basically pays more than my jobs combined but hustling for consistent photo gigs is another thing that I ain’t emotionally able to add to my to-do list, so I’ll happily take my sporadic referrals lol). Finally I started to work out and I even bought a cooking book to make sure that I was treating my stomach well since those nervous butterflies vacated or migrated. Biking to a job that reminds me of my high school gig may not seem glamorous to the world but it’s helped me live my life like it’s golden so *Kanye shrug. We spend a lot of time talking about dreams, careers, aspirations and productivity on this blog because to me part of being WILD is having the balls to do what you think it takes to be what you’ve dreamed.
Do you care about what others think of you?
We asked this question in our last topic of the week and many of you accurately responded: yes of course, everyone cares and those who say they don’t are lying. What we were really asking is: does other people’s perception of who you should be alter your course of action on what you do? Are you so worried that someone might see, that you don’t bother to do?
If your answer to that question is yes then I suggest that this week you do at least one thing that you know needs to be done. As for me and my week, well after four straight days of the grind today I get to spend my day off working and crossing things off of the hustle’s to-do list:
Write this week’s Think About it Monday (done)
Start Verve article (at least nail down sources)
Work on short synopsis and target audience for book proposal
Create invoice and presentation itinerary for Gay Prom speaking appearance
Look into legally accepting money for US school presentation requests
Respond to LAID booking inquiries for back to school
Submit the photos from last night’s event photography gig (finished at 3:00)
Prep for NGE meeting tomorrow
Cook something new
This song NEVER fails to inspire me, I know it’s cliche but it’s one of those tracks that I think everyone should memorize.
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Shoo Shannon. get outa my head. i was jussst weeping and wallowing about this yesterday. wondering what im doing with my life, what makes me happy and can make me $ at the same time. right now i have this job that pays veryy well but its verrrrrryyyy boring. And there’s no one really supervising me so I kind of sit and day dream n think about stuff just as much as i do work. (im at work leaving this comment for example).
i just have tonsss of ideas for stuff to do, but it seems like executing just one is a chore. im just lost somewhere in my mind. i feel i have so much potential but im not doing shit really. just yesterday i was seriously thinking “how is Shannon my hero and im not out somewhere husssssssstlin like her”…But ur kinda like……in the same stray boat as me lol so i guess i should erase that thought. meh.
but i do know the feeling. Everyday is Blah’sday.
s.n what had u so sad when u took that pic? or u just Toronto’s next top model? u look like u had a rough liffffe son. and uh…where do u work? do share.
Honestly your honesty is such a gift, I can’t say I possess the same talent so I’m just gonna say ditto and leave it at that for now
I seriously know what you mean. I’ve been working reception for the past two years, and every time I have to tell a friend or relative, we have an awkward moment where they say something that inevitably feels like, “Huh, that’s funny, we always thought you were going to DO something with your life. Aren’t you, like, smart or something?”
I always thought I wanted to do something BIG, but I’m beginning to think I’d be happiest in a little job where I could just be creative and appreciated, and have time for my side projects. I’m considering going back for my masters in library sciences and I’m applying for design-focused jobs right now. We’ll see what happens.
I think you’re smart to take on some part-time jobs. Not only will it help you earn some extra cash and get you the regular social interaction and routine you need — it will also keep you humble and in touch with a wider range of lifestyles and experiences, and that’s important for an author.
Shayla I am really proud of ur work madame, you’re an incredible talent. A job doesn’t confirm that, your work speaks for itself
This REALLY hits home for me today. I’m working a “day job” 40 hours a week that I HATE, and I’m starting to feel like it’s getting in the way of what I want to do more than anything. It’s so hard finding that balance between hustling to do what you WANT to do and making money you need NOW.
Hang in there girl, we’ll figure it out!
honestly, these past few days ive been the exactt same, its like you know what you wanna do with your life, you know what direction you want to go in, but theres a certain way you want to do it, and then that nervous feeling that you cant really put ur finger on but ur anxious about something, i just finished highschool and just started to inrern with universal music and im scared but i dont relle know why, im happy im done, but reality hits you and this is where you figure out like yu said Where do “I” want to be, who do yu want to work for and it freaks me out …so i dont know mann shannonnnn its like ur kinda my therapist and just someone tht i sort of say okay, well shes stayin true and she doesnt care and she wants things to work out the right way n her way, and i dont know but i admire yu for everything yu are
Get it how you live boodram
NEW Blog: Do What YOU Have to, Not What THEY Expect You To : Think About it Mondays http://bit.ly/abO13d
I can only drop a short “in transit” reply, but I very much relate to this and was quite honestly just thinking about it before I read this.
i know exactly how you feel. There are tons of us out there that feels the same way. sitting everyday wondering what are our calling and grind to get to where we want once we figure it out. but there’s also fear which makes some of us stay home and do the typical minimal wage jobs that helps you out here and there.
I really love and can totally this btw ‘.. the world isn’t there with me while I stare at my blinking cursor wondering how to fill a page when I feel pretty empty inside’
i say, we’re still young let’s not get discouraged and like Michael says ‘keep the faith’
Very well written and insightful post. I always love how I can come to this site and get the real real without the facade . I liked the one post where you were talkin about riding the bus when you were out in L.A. Real wild girls (and guys) are aware of what others think but do not let that ever alter our missions!
“We’re all a lil self concious I’m just hte first to admit it” – Kanyeezy
Life has no destinations, just a series of multiple journeys which allows you to grow.The most disappointing thing about life is achieving your goals because then theres nothing left. In life, wanting something keeps you going. I always ask successful people the same question” Are you happier now or when you were struggling”. The answer is always “I was happier when I was struggling but I cant give up the money.”
as long as you have food, shelter , security and people who care about you, enjoy the ride. Why do you think successful people drink and do drugs, they should be on top of the world, but sadly they are very unhappy people with a lot of responsibilities.
man, i really needed to hear this today. since i came home from school for summer break, i’ve been doing absolutely nothing. people ask me, “oh, how are you spending your summer?” i can only respond with, “nothing much..just taking it one day at a time..” i feel like i was more productive when i was in school stressing over deadlines. you know that saying, “i don’t know your life!” well unfortunately, i do..all too well. i get up every morning around 10am (which is late for me) and like you, i do my morning routine, only to get back into bed around 12:30pm to watch TV or tweet something random. now my twin sister on the other hand, works 5 days a week at some big shot real estate building downtown and is out of the house before 9am. i feel like i’m not doing anything with my life, and maybe thats okay, after the year i’ve had. at least thats what i have to keep telling myself. lol.
so recently, i’ve started to make changes. first things first, i cleaned my sanctuary..my room. a friend and i go running every other day to work out, and i’m eating healthier. i’m updating my blog more often, and i deactivated my facebook page for a while. so, little by little, i’m making things happen. and THAT makes me happy.
I really enjoyed this most recent post. I have felt the same way for a long time. As of now I am in Seoul, South Korea where I teach English Writing at a high school for gifted science students. Here is definitely not where my family and friends expected me to be, but here is where I felt I needed to be. My dad as much as he loves me doesnt get it. Instead he says .” You should have went to nursing or pharmacy school, then you would have a “real” job making “real” money and you wouldnt be in the middle of Korea somewhere.” But I choose to be here and my B.A. in History and teaching licensure in social studies helped me get here. And now I realized that to get to where I really want to be in life, I need to experience life. I needed to see that there is more in the world than poverty and drugs and dysfunctional people pulling me down. So I always say to my family and friends, I do have a “real” job. One that allows me to learn about a new culture as leaves me time to finish my books. As for the “real” money, no its not as much as I would make at home but it still allows me to travel to places like Cambodia, Malaysia, Indonesia, and Thailand, places most people only read about in textbooks. So continue to hold your head up Shannon and whatever your part time job is, make sure you are the best there ever was. Its always nice to see people being honest instead of hiding behind facades. Thats why I love the blog.
Alexis I love creeping your Facebook for pics of Seoul, it’s so beautiful. Probably impossible not to feel purposeful doing what you do
Shannon you are 1 in a million I swear
Great success never comes without risk so go for it! If its too scary right now give yourself a break and try some other less lofty ideas and then, when your comfortable, go for your bigger dreams. Always remember that you have already accomplished more than some people every will and your wild readers are your biggest supporters
wow i thought i was the only one going through this after university exams everyone had jobs for like two weeks ago i woke up at 1 in the evening and did nothing for the rest of the day ..im finally over it and back out rolling out this was an epic description of my life two weeks ago lol.
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes when I slack off, I feel like crap and that results in an even more depressing slack-off.
Oh, I have an idea for you. You should guest blog on Lipstick Feminists (lipstick.feminists@gmail.com); I think it`ll broaden your base and grab the attention of some of their fans, drive them over to TGAW. Congratulations on starting your photography website!
The crazy thing is for the last 3 weeks i`ve been in this kind of `funk` where i wouldn’t do anything or talk to anyone. and i didn’t know why. and then on Sunday i decided enough is enough and i decided that theres no time for me to feel sorry for myself.
i love coming to this site it like you always know what going on.
One of the realest posts I ever read, whatever it is your doing is better than a lot of people. Sometimes we wish we can just fast forward to our destiny but things happen in time and the journey is the best part (so they say).
Dear Shannon,
Thank You!
Thank you for this. Appreciate your honesty. This relates to my life at the moment. Nice to know I’m not the only one.
I must say, I initially was not going to comment on this, but I couldn’t help myself. I’ve become a frequent visitor to TGAW for about a month now. After reading this post, I felt so much better about my current situation. I was feeling exactly the same way you were feeling. I’m the baby of my family and I constantly have someone telling me what I should be doing instead of encouraging the things that I already have planned for myself. So I fell into a funk and for a brief period felt like I had no idea who I was anymore. It’s funny how someone elses honesty can inspire you to be more honest with yourself. It really did make me think about it on monday. Now I have more clarity. I got away from all of the noise and realized that who I am, where I want to be, and what I’m working so hard for is just right for me. And that I simply have to do what I have to do. No one else is going to wake up in my mind and with my spirit, just me. So what I do has to be determined by just me. Your post was really helpful. Thanks for being a wild girl.
WOW …. I know you already heard this but I def had to read something like this. Thanks Shannon !
Long time no comment! BUT I feel the same, after my exams I was in a rut. Like “Oh, school. I don’t want to be here” but deep down I know the ends justify the means. However working hard in school doesn’t mean I can’t do what I want to do as well as what I need to do (e.g. Karla Moy aka HustleGRL).
So I’ve just gotten out there and sorted myself out. Organization is so much better, learning how to drive, already sorted a summer internship, figuring out how to do some fashion photoshoots, getting better at sewing thanks to a friend’s teaching and making time to talk to my (old) friends.
It all feels a bit much at times – yes I get tired and want to laze around but those are just moments. I’d rather have a lifetime full of moments doing what I love and yes, those sporadic moments where I laze about.
I’m not asking How, Why or If anymore. I’m just going into what I want full on, headstrong, asking questions and advice throughout and learning continuously.
I’m not following a perfect path. I mean if my footsteps are laid down and remain, it’s a path right? Nooks and crannies make it interesting.